So last night I had to start a bible reading plan on anger, y'all. Yes, it was that deep. I can admit, I have issues controlling my anger and I've had this problem for years. But I can really say I have gotten better with age. I mean, once you get to a certain point, you have to realize that you can not just fight someone in the street anymore (especially after you're 18). But just because you don't fight, doesn't mean you don't get angry. I can count on one hand how many times this year I have truly been upset. Like ready to choke someone upset. And although I would like to not have had any of these occurrences, they did happen and they will continue happening throughout my life. So it is best I learn to deal with it; rather than constantly screaming and yelling at people who will be as big of an butthole tommorrow as they are today.
One person who I continually bump heads with is my mother. I love her because she is my mother. But to be completely candid, I don't LIKE her. lml. There are plenty of things that she does that irritate me. And I'm sure the same could be said about me and everyone else in the world. But with her being the parent, you kind of have to bite your tongue. But see, I'm not good at that. If I have something to say, trust me, you will hear it. And of course she does not appreciate it. What I like to do, what I try to do, is talk it out and come to an understanding. I'll stop this and you stop that. But in her mind, this doesn't work. Or it will work for about a hour or a day if I'm lucky and shes at it again. And when you have to have these conversations again and again, over years and its still the same, What exactly do you say? Oh well. forget it? And continue to be pissed off day after day?
I think it all comes down to RESPECT. IF you have RESPECT for someone, you will listen and be honest with them. Because you RESPECT them you should feel comfortable enough to aire out your issues. If they RESPECT you, you both should be able to come to some kind of resolution. It's not shutting up, bowing down, or just dealing with it because. For me, this is a universal translation, not selective.
So what do you do when you and another person don't share the same definition of the word? Or you dont have any RESPECT for each other at all?
Obviously my approach with my mother doesn't work. So I have to rely on an oldie but goodie: WWJD (lol). If you don't know what that means it is: WHAT WOULD JESUS DO. It seems a little corny and for those who are not Christian it may not make as much of an impact to you as it does for me. Basically, I'm asking myself is this what I want to do? Is it right? Will I regret it? What are the implications of my action? Will I stare at the ceiling all night thinking of other things I should have said? Will this make me HAPPY? I can admit, it doesn't always stop me from speaking up, or making the wrong decision but it's better than counting to ten ( in my opinion). And because I have RESPECT for MYSELF, I think about how my actions impact me.
So next time I get pissed all the way of by my mother or anyone one else, that little mantra will be running through my head. And if I still manage to get a little pissed, what can I say, it's a process ;)
