So last night I had to start a bible reading plan on anger, y'all. Yes, it was that deep. I can admit, I have issues controlling my anger and I've had this problem for years. But I can really say I have gotten better with age. I mean, once you get to a certain point, you have to realize that you can not just fight someone in the street anymore (especially after you're 18). But just because you don't fight, doesn't mean you don't get angry. I can count on one hand how many times this year I have truly been upset. Like ready to choke someone upset. And although I would like to not have had any of these occurrences, they did happen and they will continue happening throughout my life. So it is best I learn to deal with it; rather than constantly screaming and yelling at people who will be as big of an butthole tommorrow as they are today.
One person who I continually bump heads with is my mother. I love her because she is my mother. But to be completely candid, I don't LIKE her. lml. There are plenty of things that she does that irritate me. And I'm sure the same could be said about me and everyone else in the world. But with her being the parent, you kind of have to bite your tongue. But see, I'm not good at that. If I have something to say, trust me, you will hear it. And of course she does not appreciate it. What I like to do, what I try to do, is talk it out and come to an understanding. I'll stop this and you stop that. But in her mind, this doesn't work. Or it will work for about a hour or a day if I'm lucky and shes at it again. And when you have to have these conversations again and again, over years and its still the same, What exactly do you say? Oh well. forget it? And continue to be pissed off day after day?
I think it all comes down to RESPECT. IF you have RESPECT for someone, you will listen and be honest with them. Because you RESPECT them you should feel comfortable enough to aire out your issues. If they RESPECT you, you both should be able to come to some kind of resolution. It's not shutting up, bowing down, or just dealing with it because. For me, this is a universal translation, not selective.
So what do you do when you and another person don't share the same definition of the word? Or you dont have any RESPECT for each other at all?
Obviously my approach with my mother doesn't work. So I have to rely on an oldie but goodie: WWJD (lol). If you don't know what that means it is: WHAT WOULD JESUS DO. It seems a little corny and for those who are not Christian it may not make as much of an impact to you as it does for me. Basically, I'm asking myself is this what I want to do? Is it right? Will I regret it? What are the implications of my action? Will I stare at the ceiling all night thinking of other things I should have said? Will this make me HAPPY? I can admit, it doesn't always stop me from speaking up, or making the wrong decision but it's better than counting to ten ( in my opinion). And because I have RESPECT for MYSELF, I think about how my actions impact me.
So next time I get pissed all the way of by my mother or anyone one else, that little mantra will be running through my head. And if I still manage to get a little pissed, what can I say, it's a process ;)
So I was watching the Bill Cunningham Show, one of the most ratchet bits of daytime television, which I thoroughly enjoy. There was a guest on who had slept with her best friend’s boyfriend. The two had been friends for over 10 years, and the friend had even provided shelter for her when she was kicked out of her own home. To top it all off she thought she was pregnant by the gentleman, her best friends boyfriend. Not to mention that she even suggested that she and he should form a romantic relationship. When her friend came on the stage to hear the secrets revealed, the girl had the nerve to be upset at her friend; asking for some kind of credit for her honesty. This post isn’t necessarily meant to be a commentary on a television show. The segment for one made me thankful that I keep my circle small, and also made think about all of the scandalous men and women we come across on a daily basis. Some of them “family”,some of them “friends”.
The young woman’s actions spoke volumes about herself, her morals, self value and their friendship. It is clear that a woman or man that will become involved with the partner of a friend is someone who never truly valued their friendship to begin with. How can anyone betray someone who feeds, clothes, and takes care of them. The word for this my friends, is TRIFLING, low down, disrespectful, etc. True, the friend is not the only wrong person in thesituation. Of course your partner should have had more respect for you. To cheat is of course a horrible thing, but to do so with a friend is a boundary that should never be crossed.
I would expound on my feelings towards this scenario, but to be honest, I don’t feel like typing anymore. The moral of the story is to watch the company you keep. This kind of situation does not come out of the blue. A partner or friend that would be so outwardly disrespectful, probably did not decide to do so for once. Watch out folks!
I've literally deactivated my Facebook more than 10 times this year alone. Every time I get online, there is someone fronting, crying or shoving their tatas all up in the camera. Like Kat Williams says "do what you do, boo boo" but I really don't want see it. So because I try to keep my sailors mouth at a minimum, I just deactivate it. Then I get bored and I'm back again. But that's not the point of this post. I have a Facebook friend that is younger than myself by maybe a year or so. She got pregnant in her mid teens but has since gotten her education on track and seemswell. I'm not mad at her for that. There's so many girls that abandon their educational pursuits, so congrats. PERRROOOO she puts her relationship business alllll over Facebook. I mean I have a few hundred "friends" and she is forever in my newsfeed.
Now, I personally have a slight issue with mothers who talk about how much they need this or that, how they take care of their children and a hour later are talking about I'm about to roll up. Likeeee whuuhh? But back to her baby daddy drama. One minute, she's a talk show host tolling out unsolicited advice and the next she's crying that they broke up over a bowl of cereal. I don't know the young lady's business (well at least not anymore than what she posts) but I mean sweety, maybe you could at least keep it to yourself for a while. Find a good space mentally. She is not the only teen mom I know, by any means. And I'm not mad at her or any of them for doing what they have to in order to support their family. But with ALLL that you got going on, don't you wanna tone down all the extra drama. It's like those people who change their relationship status like they change their socks; but with more cussing and foolishness.
If I were to give her advice ( because I'm about two seconds from blocking her) I would a: tell her to not put her personal business all out there. And b: let her know that if a man, whether he is your child’s father or not, is treating your poorly and keeping you distracted from what you need to do and from bettering yourself you need to reevaluate your situation-- IN PRIVATE.